As I sit here on my bed early in the morning, the kids are downstairs watching TV and my husband off to work in the Urgent Care Clinic, I am alone in my quiet thoughts for the first time in several weeks. I usually spend the last few days of December in soulful searching of what I hope to change or work on for the upcoming new year, but this time, I couldn’t muster up the energy. I just couldn’t do it. Choosing to spend my time tidying up after Christmas, sitting with my kids, and simply avoiding the tugging urge to plan out my 2016.
I am proud to say that I didn’t give in.
2015 was so very full. Full of appointments, practices, games, meetings, deadlines- a dizzying schedule that made me contemplate installing a revolving door out of the necessity of feeling like the back door never fully closed before having to leave again. In and out, here and there, and always 5 minutes late. This recovering “helicopter-mom”, once too fearful to even think about my teens driving, is now checking off the days when I can have a spare chauffeur on hand.
All of this to say, I am looking at this 2016 with new eyes. I don’t want to be busy!!! I want the easy going days of summer when we would meander through the day without schedules or time constraints. As a mom, wife, writer, small business owner, and school teacher- how can I hep my family slow the breaks down enough to where we no longer see each other in a blur? My husband and I decided early on that we did need boundaries on our schedule to safeguard our family from this very concern. We’ve fooled ourselves into thinking we aren’t over-committed, but it’s the little things that creep up day-to-day. Deadlines for work that turn into HUGE projects that take more time than anticipated, meetings, school reports, finals, extra sports practices that were thrown in at the last minute. I find myself crashing at the end of each day. AGH!! This is no way to live!
Can I be real for just a moment? I’m exhausted. I’d love to chuck it all to the curb. Say “Heck NO!” and shut the door. The stress of having to keep all my “plates” spinning is too much for me. I feel out of control and frayed at the edges. I want to do everything perfectly and when I am unable to do so it leaves me feeling like a failure. I’m not a good mom or wife when I feel pulled in so many different directions. It’s humbling to admit I don’t have my act together. I’ve been ignorning it, hoping that I would just be able to overcome. How silly of me.
So instead of sitting down to map out my year, my husband and I need to spend time in prayer. Humbly asking for help to fix this crazy mess of being over-committed. Asking him to reveal what needs to be pruned from our lives and schedules. Uniting our hearts toward the Lord’s purpose and plan for our family. It won’t be easy. Learning to say no (even to good things) is a discipline that must be learned.
2016 will be about being available, pouring into family, saying yes to God’s very best, and saying no to busyness. Who’s with me?
If you have any helpful suggestions that have worked for you in this area, I’d love to hear from you. Share below in the comments section.